Chapter 1- Caleb

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting in the car, but it was long enough for my ass to go numb. I sighed, keeping my eyes locked on to the bay windows of Seashell Diner.

“Seashell Diner,” I said, and snorted at the stupidity of the name. It was so unoriginal for a diner located by the seafront… Small town, small people, small minds, and–

I lost my train of thought as my eyes followed the waitress exiting the kitchen. Her wavy ponytail moved from side to side as she carried an impressive amount of plates to a table full of jocks I wanted to kill, just for the smile she gave them.

I closed my eyes. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to keep my feelings in check, tried to bury them so deep inside I’d forget them. I wanted to go back to the man I’d been before – unfeeling, but functioning at least. Before her I had never felt like a bipolar man without his lithium. Before her I’d never felt out of control.

I hated myself for all these feelings and it made me hate her even more. I opened my eyes and looked at her as she cleaned a table close to the entrance. I could see the necklace I’d given her shine around her neck and this caused a lot of complicated and contradictory feelings to settle in my treacherous heart.

Esmeralda Forbes… I had known from the moment our eyes had connected that first day when I’d driven to Archibald’s home that she was trouble – with her pinup, unassuming beauty.

I had thought it was an act before; no girl that looked like that could be so kind, so humble and yet she was…or was she?

A new wave of anger filled me. She had played me. I looked down at my hand and the engagement ring resting in my palm. For all I knew it might have all been an act.

I clenched my hand around the ring and squeezed, squeezed with all the rage, betrayal and shame I felt – rage at the whole situation and reason behind her slip-up, betrayal by her and Archibald who’d plotted against me, and shame for not seeing it coming.

Archibald was smart. I couldn’t prove his involvement, but she’d disappeared so well, leaving breadcrumbs leading in the wrong direction. As far as I could see Esmeralda was smart, but she was not calculating. She was not a mastermind, not like Archibald and I were. She was much more controlled by her feelings, as her slip-up a week ago had proved, and this disappointed me in some strange way.

If she hadn’t called him, that stupid insignificant jock, she would still be at bay, any trace of her existence hidden so well – suspiciously, professionally so.

For a month William and my father had spent thousands of dollars trying to find her to no avail, nothing at all except this stupid wild goose chase around New York where her ring was found.

I had almost lost all hope of finding her, punishing her, lost the hope of getting my revenge for making me feel like a fool, for letting her see the small chink in my armor and using it against me. Maybe I should thank her for that, for pointing out that chink, because it had allowed me to seal it, cover it and make myself stronger and angrier than I had ever been. It had allowed me to plot and organize a revenge of biblical proportions. I was going to make her feel what she’d made me feel tenfold.

  Feelings were a liability, a weakness, something that were used against you, even by the people you cared for. My mother had told me that time and time again and I’d thought I’d learned…until her.

And Esmeralda had fallen in the same stupid trap when she’d called the insignificant Ben Deluca, that pauper idiot. So here I was about to bring her home, back to a cage so secure she’d never escape again – at least until I had considered my revenge complete.

My phone vibrated on the passenger seat. I rolled my eyes at the name flashing up – W. Forbes. I had to pick up if I wanted to prevent him from jumping in his other jet. I’d barely managed to have him agree to let me come here by myself.

“Have you found her?” He demanded as soon as I picked up the phone.

Good morning to you too, I thought sarcastically. “Yes sir, I have just found her.” Lies. “She is working and there are a lot of people around her. I need to find an opportunity to get her alone. I need time.”

He sighed with frustration. “Why? You can just carry her away. Drug her if you have to.”

I rolled my eyes again. This man was just so basic. “In this day and age, sir, with social media, I would strongly advise against a public tantrum and attempted kidnapping unless you want the videos to hit the web. Then everybody will know that Esmeralda Forbes didn’t take a sabbatical in Paris like we said, but ran away from you.”

“From us,” he corrected, and I knew he enjoyed my demise much more than he cared to admit.

I pursed my lips, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. “Maybe so. I agree that it wouldn’t look good on me to have a runaway bride, but having a daughter disrespect the all-powerful William Forbes…” I trailed off, letting him interpret it the way he wanted to.

“Just–” he growled. “Just bring her back. I don’t care how. I want her home – tonight. If you can’t I’ll dispatch a team and–”

“That won’t be necessary, sir.”

“One can hope. Call me when you are on your way to the airstrip or if you’re failing.”

“I can handle it!” I barked, letting go of my fake patience. Who did he think he was? By claiming Esmeralda, I was saving him from an impending scandal. He owed me! I wasn’t one of his lackeys he could bully. He would have to learn to respect me too.

He hung up without another word.

I scowled at the phone in my hand. I could handle Esmeralda. It hadn’t taken me long to find her once I’d made it to Carmel – less than six hours in fact. I’d planned to grab her at the end of her last shift, but had hesitated when I’d seen her exit, the silver necklace I’d given her proudly around her neck. I’d realized that I’d missed my opportunity when she was engulfed by the crowd on the pier.

I’d followed her, hidden under my baseball cap. She’d stopped by a hot chocolate cart and ordered one; it might have been January, but it was California. Then she’d walked further down and sat on a bench, looking up at the temporary Ferris wheel, set up for what I presume was the holidays. I’d seen her face quite well from my spot, half-hidden behind a newsstand. She’d looked up wistfully, almost pained. Was she conflicted? Was she thinking about the day I never should have given her? A day that made me look and feel weak and foolish?

My will had wavered in that moment and it’d angered me to realize that, willingly or not, she still had power over me. I had tried to reason with myself, pretending that I just needed to see the life she’d built in case she wanted to leave again; the more you knew about your prey, the more leverage you had.

I had followed her to the three-story apartment building and stayed there, in the parking lot, for over an hour before going back to my bed & breakfast. It had been risky to do that. What if she’d actually noticed me and disappeared into the night?

But I was relieved in the morning when I’d parked in front of the diner and saw her waiting tables. This was where I had been for the last two hours, just observing.

You’re turning into a fucking stalker, Astor. I could hear Archibald’s voice in the back of my mind, taunting me.

I growled, reaching for the Yankees cap on the passenger seat. It had been one of Theo’s favorites, along with his Iron Man one. I wasn’t sure why I kept the memento, but even now, I couldn’t let it go completely.

But now was not the time. Now I had to bring home a more-than-reluctant bride.

I waited for Esmeralda to disappear into the kitchen before walking into the diner and grabbing a menu. Sitting at the back, I opened the menu to hide my face.

“Do you need anything else?” I heard her ask on my left. Just her voice caused unwanted emotions to arise – mainly anger, but even that was too much. She shouldn’t be able to affect me this much. Any feelings she caused, positive or negative, were a weakness – a weakness I couldn’t afford.

“Your number,” one of the jocks sniggered.

I gripped the yellow laminated menu tighter in my hands, using all my willpower not to jump from my seat on an overused brown leather bench and smash his head on the table for daring to covet what was mine.

She sighed. “I already said I was not interested, but thank you.”

“Ah, come on. He’s been forcing us to come for greasy breakfasts for the past ten days just because of you,” another one whined, his voice even more aggravating than the other.

“You think insulting my place of work will help you?”

These guys don’t think, Esmeralda. They’re idiots… Driven by lust, not logic.

One of them sighed. “Come on Vicky, look at him. He is a catch in college and well off.”

Esmeralda snorted. “If you’re such a fan, why don’t you date him yourself? I assume you don’t need anything else, so if you’ll excuse me, I have other tables to attend to.”

“What can I get you?” She asked much closer now and whilst I knew it was impossible, it was like I could feel her.

I placed her engagement ring in the middle of the table. “What can I get for that?” I asked before sliding the menu down.

She paled. “Why are you here?” She whispered, looking around the room.

I frowned at her question. She seemed surprised that I was there, but not that she’d been found.

I arched an eyebrow. “Not really the question I’d expected,” I admitted

She gave a guarded look, resting her hand on her chest, trying to hide her necklace. Too late, little girl.

“Where are the others?”

I cocked my head to the side, running my thumb back and forth over my bottom lip – a sort of compromise to stop me from doing this to her own rose petal plump lip.

“Who? Your father? Your brother? Whichever traitor helped you escape?”

“Nobody helped me.”

She’d answered too fast for it to be true. I’ll find the traitor…traitors…and they’ll pay just as she will. I sighed, reaching for the ring again.

“Why did you come?” she asked, taking a step back.

I’m not certain, I thought as I showed her the ring. “I came to remind you that you made a commitment which you have to uphold.”

“But–” She pursed her lips and once again she seemed puzzled by the wrong things.

“Aren’t you going to ask how we found you? Where did you fail?”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?”

“No, I guess not.” I stood up, putting the ring back in my pants pocket. “Let’s go.”

“Caleb, I–”

I shook my head. “No, you lost the right to make demands the moment you left.” I gripped her wrist before she had a chance to take another step back.

“I think you should let her go,” one of the jocks from the nearby table interjected.

I rolled my eyes as irritation overshadowed my feeling of betrayal.

I pointed at him, not even bothering to look in his direction. This boy didn’t deserve my full attention. “And I think you should sit down and eat your cholesterol-ridden breakfast. This has nothing to do with you.”

I could see from the corner of my eye that he was still standing, looking for trouble. If only I had the time or the care to deal with the backlash of social media.

“What now?” I growled, finally looking at him while keeping my grip on Esmeralda’s delicate wrist.

“I think the lady doesn’t want to go with you,” the jock said, tilting his chin up.

“Doesn’t she? You didn’t seem to be that bothered about her consent when you were harassing her to get her number. Also, not that it has anything to do with you, but she is my fiancée.” I squeezed her wrist almost involuntarily.

“I–” He looked at Esmeralda. “Vicky?”

I snorted. “We don’t have time for this Esmeralda…” I tried to put as much threat as I could into this statement. I would not be humiliated any more than I already had been.

She nodded. “Okay, let’s go.”

I let go of her wrist, her soft skin too tempting. I narrowed my eyes with suspicion. She’d gone to extreme lengths to disappear, risking so much, and yet after a single request, she was giving in? It made no sense.

“Esmeralda…” I warned. “If this is one of your tricks, I–”

She shook her head, taking my hand. “No, no tricks. Let’s go.”

I nodded once, shaking her hand off before gesturing her toward the door.

She rushed behind the counter, apologized to the owner, grabbed her handbag, calmly followed me outside, and got into the car without a fight.

I wasn’t sure why, but it felt like I was following her plan instead of mine. We’d tracked her here and yet she sat beside me in the car as if she was the predator instead of the prey.

I didn’t want to engage more with her in the state of anger I was in. She’d turned out to be more conniving than I’d thought and I realized that I had a tendency to give her more than I wanted to.

“You know I’m taking you back to Stonewood, right?” Give me fear. Beg. Anything, I willed her.

She nodded, aloof enough to infuriate me even more.

“Do you think you’ll get away again?” I snorted. “Because let me tell you, you won’t – not unless I will it.”

She turned toward me, looking at me with the thoughtful gaze I’d come to both cherish and hate. There was so much going through her head but she was so different, such an anomaly. I couldn’t anticipate her, which made me uncomfortable and I hated that feeling.

I was Caleb Astor. Nothing got to me… at least nothing had until her.

Chapter 1 – Violet 

“I’m not sure I’m following.” I breathed slowly as I fidgeted in front of Mr. Reynolds’ desk.

He cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair, his round face much redder than usual. “Well, I’m not sure what there’s to follow here,” he snapped defensively. “This was a six-month training program. The six months are over, so you are not needed anymore.” He pointed at the door behind him. “Turn around and leave.”

Of course, he expected me to bow my head and leave. I was non-confrontational; I always followed every rule and every command to stay under the radar, to make sure I wasn’t too much of a burden on my mother. I just remained like that, even after her passing.

He expected for me to just walk away because he was the marketing director and I was the assistant of his assistant, but it was time for me to put my foot down. It was time for me to ask why, once again, I was losing the little something I had worked so hard to get.

I had nothing left to lose.

Please, God, cut me some slack. I really need a win.

“Sir, I’m sorry to insist, but when we were brought into this apprenticeship program, we were told that the best performer would be offered a permanent position. I’ve been assured through the monthly assessments that I would be offered this position. Mrs. Taylor even asked me to come back this morning to sign my contract and start the permanent position.”

His face grew redder as he adjusted his position on his seat, his imposing belly squeezing against his desk as he leaned forward. “Things change every day in the corporate world, Ms. Murphy. You would know that if you’d tried to educate yourself and didn’t drop out of school at sixteen.”

I inhaled sharply as I took the verbal blow. That one stung more than I expected, especially based on the reason I left school as young as I did.

It had never been my choice—no, it had been just another good thing life had stolen from me.

I blinked and looked down, having lost the small fire of injustice that had been burning—what had driven me to fight for myself.

He sighed. “Listen, companies are going through restructuring all the time—the position that once was to be filled doesn’t exist anymore.”

A flash of red in the corner of my eye attracted my attention, and I looked out the glass office wall to see Mr. Reynolds’ niece sitting at what was my desk for the past few months.

“I see…” I trailed off, too defeated to even try. It was nothing I had done, nothing the company had really done; it was just a simple case of nepotism.

He followed my eyes and glared at his niece, who gave him a sheepish smile before she twisted toward the screen.

Should I feel better that he wanted to hide this from me? Was it to preserve my tender feelings or to make sure I wouldn’t make a scene?

He sighed. “Listen, Violet.”

Ah, it was Violet now, was it? He obviously knew I was bright enough to catch up on the situation.

“You were good, very good even, and you’re not leaving empty-handed. We—” He looked around his desk and stopped on the leather-bound corporate checkbook. “If you’d let me finish before, you’d know that we decided to grant you a gracious, two-week bonus to thank you for all your hard work. Also know that should any entry position become available, your name will be at the top of the list.”

I looked at him as he grabbed the book and wrote me a check. Gracious? This apprenticeship barely paid minimum wage, and I had to work a few nights a week at the dry cleaner down the street just to make ends meet.

I was supposed to start a job today where my salary would have been forty-five thousand dollars a year. Nothing to write home about for most people, but for me… it would have changed my whole life.

Instead, I would leave with broken dreams, wasted time, and a check for… I extended my hand to grab the white piece of paper he extended and read the amount. $932.15?! Was he serious? I looked up at him. That asshole even took out taxes!

“This experience is invaluable, Violet. You’ve spent six months working for one of the biggest real estate companies in California. It’s not negligible, you know, and I’m willing to provide you with a stellar reference should you ever need one.”

I knew what he was not saying. Leave without making a scene, and I’ll help you.

I looked down at the check again. Lord, how I wish I didn’t need the money. That I could just crumple it up and shove it so deep down his throat he wouldn’t be able to breathe anymore.

I recoiled. Where did that even come from? I was not violent, never had been, but this compulsion…

It’s in your genes.

I shook my head and blinked as tears burned the back of my eyes.

“I… Yes, thank you, sir.” I was thanking the man who probably stole my only chance to make it out of my situation, just to give the job to his spoiled niece, who only wanted it as a whim or as a punishment.

“Don’t mention it. I wish you all the luck in the world.”

I nodded silently, completely exhausted and out of words, and turned around to leave.

“Violet?” he called just as I reached the door.

I turned my head toward him, hope blossoming in my heart against my own advice. Maybe he realized it was unfair, maybe he found a solution. Maybe he just—

“Don’t forget to leave your badge with security downstairs.”

My heart plummeted once again as shame at my own stupidity joined my other raging emotions.

I should have known better… When did life really cut people like me some slack?

I pulled the strap of my thrift store handbag higher on my shoulder and walked down the corridor with as much dignity as I could muster, trying to respond to the small, sad smiles people were giving me along the way.

Sandra, an assistant for the finance department, snuck into the elevator just as the door closed on me.

“It’s bullshit!” she spat, her cheeks red and eyes shining with a self-righteousness that somehow made me feel both better and worse.

“What is?”

“Everything!” She made a wide gesture with her hands, forcing me to take a sidestep to avoid getting poked in the eye by one of her sharp, pointy nails. “That fucking old pervert once again fucked this company by hiring one of his backward relatives, and no one bats an eye,” she huffed. “I swear, that man knows something to get away with that much shit.”

I agreed with her, of course. I had seen a lot of shit in the past six months, including the leering looks he had no place giving young women barely in adulthood, but I was not in the mood to fuel the fire. I was angry, yes, but mostly sad and tired, which all wrapped up in an overwhelming sense of defeat and doom.

“It is what it is.” I shrugged, willing the elevator to make its way down just a little faster.

It is what it is… The story of my life.

“I’m going to be fine; I’m not worried.” Maybe if I said that enough, I’ll believe it. I sighed with relief as the elevator beeped, announcing my destination had been reached. “You better go back up now before you get into trouble. See you around,” I added, quickly exiting the enclosed space, tightening my hold around the plastic pass in my hand, feeling it bite painfully in my palm.

I stopped by the white reception desk and met Reginald, who gave me the same sorry eyes as they did upstairs. He was from the same part of town as me, so he knew the extent of the opportunity that had been stolen from me.

“I’m sorry, little one,” he said soothingly, resting his big hand on top of mine.

I looked down at his gentle gesture and my shaky composure cracked, letting a few burning tears escape.

Reginald was a gentle father figure who had been showing me nothing but kindness since my first day here and had managed to make me feel comfortable when I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

“You’re twenty-one, baby girl; you’ll get back on your feet. I know you will.”

I sniffled, still keeping my eyes down, looking at my few tears shining on the white counter.

He squeezed my hand. “Let me call you an Uber; you deserve it. The company owes you this ride.”

“Thank you.” Normally I would have said no, fearing he would get into trouble.

But I didn’t feel like making the thirty-five-minute, two-bus trip back home wearing an itchy dress and the uncomfortable heels I bought at the charity shop down the street to help me look professional.

I had felt like a fraud all the way here, and now, on top of a fraud, I felt like a failure.

“The car will be out in a couple of minutes.”

“Thanks, Reginald… for everything.”

“You’re welcome, little one. Don’t be a stranger.”

I walked out, deciding to wait for the car outside, hoping the warm sun would help me feel a little better.

I got my phone out and called Jake. I needed my boyfriend right now. I needed him to make me feel better, even if he had warned me from the start not to get my hopes up.

The phone went straight to voicemail. He was probably in ‘the zone,’ working on some of his freelance projects.

I sighed, putting the phone back in my bag as a green sedan slowed and stopped in front of me.

“Car for Violet?”

“Yes, thank you.”

I sat in the back and instead of giving him my address, I gave him Jake’s. He lived much farther from the downtown area and somehow, the small pettiness of knowing this ride would cost them double to take me there, instead of my small studio apartment, made me feel a little better. I was sticking it to the man—even if it was for a meager thirty dollars.

Jake didn’t live in my run-down neighborhood. He’d managed to escape and take a few steps up the ladder of life and live in an area with fewer guns than people. He ‘made it,’ as he loved to repeat every chance he had.

I was sure he could take a break from his current project and make me feel better. I closed my eyes and leaned against the headrest, letting the car vibrations lull me and relieve some of the stress.

I couldn’t help but wince at the thought of going back to work at Sunset Strip, the supposedly ‘high-end’ gentlemen’s club that was harboring the same type of perverts as cheap strip clubs had, except clients had thicker wallets… and blacker hearts.

I sighed, opening my eyes and meeting the driver’s curious gaze just before he looked at the road again.

I could already picture Liam’s smirk when I go back and ask for my barmaid job back. How he would give me part two of the speech he gave me when I told him I was leaving. He would tell me, yet again, that Sunset Strip was a family and you don’t just walk away from your family. Then, in his magnanimous kindness, and in memory of his father and my mother, he would give me my job back.

I couldn’t help the little grunt of annoyance that escaped my mouth at the thought.

“You belong here, Violet, like your mother. Why are you trying so hard to make it out?” Because I didn’t want the same life she had; because she wanted nothing more than for me to make it out. Because I owed it to her to try my hardest.

“Hello? Miss?”

My eyes shot open and I looked out of the window, startled to have been nudged out of my thoughts.

I stared at Jake’s small bungalow across the street, trying to regroup my thoughts and composure, at least long enough to tell him everything.

”Is it the wrong address?” he asked, not even bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.

“No, I’m sorry.” I shook my head and opened the door. “It’s right, sorry.”

He mumbled something under his breath, and I’d barely closed the door behind me before the car had shot off.

I crossed the street and stopped on the sidewalk, frowning at the small red car parked just behind Jake’s Volvo.

It was quite a popular little car, yet something made me take a few tentative steps toward it as a bad feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.

My frown deepened as I noticed the pair of mini red stilettos dangling from the rearview mirror. It might have been a very common car, but that keepsake? It wasn’t.

This was Serena’s car. Serena, my supposed friend and one of the most popular strippers at Sunset. Serena, who lived on the other side of town and who had only met Jake twice before.

I turned toward the house and walked slowly as the bad feeling turned into ice in my stomach.

The closer I got to the front door, the more I was hyperventilating, imagining the worst.

There must be an explanation. It could just be a coincidence.

Jake wouldn’t do that to me, not after all the things I’ve been through. I told him I wanted to wait, that my virginity had value to me, and he said he was okay with that. He said he would wait as long as necessary, and despite being together for over a year, he’d never pressured me. I was scared to find out now why it might have been the case.

Bile rose in my throat as I reached the front door, unsure I wanted to face what could be happening or, if nothing sordid was happening, face my own unwarranted mistrust. I thought I was past my trust issues. I thought I was ready for the next steps in this relationship, but if a simple coincidence could shake the whole foundation of our relationship, then maybe I was not quite there yet.

I raised my hand to knock but thought better of it, and looked around, trying to figure out where he hid the emergency key.

I looked under the potted plants on his patio and under the door mat without any luck before I remembered he bought this stupid fake stone during one of our Target trips.

I looked around and, despite the worry brewing inside me, I smiled when I noticed it at the foot of the bushes brushing the wooden stairs.

I grabbed it and let out a little huff of relief when I found the key nestled inside it.

If nothing seedy was happening, he’ll probably question my uninvited pop-in, but I was too concerned to think more of it right now.

I opened the door slowly and didn’t have to question my decision as I heard a guttural moan of pleasure.

I tightened my hold on the key, feeling its ridges on my palm as I took one slow step after the other, trying to make sure he would not hear my stupid square heels thunk against his wooden flooring.

The closer I got to his room, the louder he became. I could also hear Serena call his name, asking him to fuck her harder with his big, fat cock.

I stopped, resting my hand against the wall as my stomach heaved violently.

I almost wished I could vomit right now and have him clean it after he sealed my horrible day with the worst betrayal.

I shook my head. I had enough! I couldn’t continue to torture myself, listening to the sound of their pleasure. They needed to know that I knew.

The door of the bedroom was ajar, and I shoved it open, making it slam against the wall—the lovely yellow wall I’d painted for him last month.

How fucking stupid had I been! I wanted to help him have a nice home—where I thought I would move into one day, but clearly, not in the optic to have him fuck another woman.

Despite knowing what I was going to find, it was almost too much to see.

Her, on all fours, on top of the sunflower bedspread I had picked to match the room, and him, fisting her long ponytail as he hammered into her from behind, his head thrown back in pure abandon.

She shrieked when she saw me and fell face-first onto the bed.

He looked back and his face shifted from unadulterated pleasure to shock in an instant, and despite the ripping pain, I felt a little better knowing I’d ruined his pleasure—just as he’d just ruined a year of my life.

I would not become my mother!

I turned around and started to run when he shouted my name. I ran out and down the street, my vision blurry with tears and my legs wobbling, both from the painful turmoil inside me and the heels I was not used to wearing.

I heard him call my name again and realized he was following me into the street!

Fuck! I ran faster, despite my burning eyes compromising my vision. I took random side streets just to ditch him.

I crossed a street without looking—a mistake, one of many, really—but the one I realized was going to cost me my life as I saw the shape of a black car come racing toward me.

My ankle twisted as my heel met an unevenness in the middle of the road, and I fell heavily.

I heard the horn, the squealing of the tires, and closed my eyes tightly, bracing for impact.

Yep, I was going to die today, in disgrace and in shame… It was ironic how things had come full circle.

I was going to die the same way I was born.